![]() What’s one thing you can do over and over again and not remember a single thing? Drinking alcohol.Who shaves at least 20 times a day? A barber.I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.Why did the monkey and pancake batter have in common? They both love bananas.How is a bar of soap the same as your dreams? They’re both amazing at slipping away.One says to the other, “Dang, it’s hot in here.” The other replies, “Yeah, probably like 350 degrees.” What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… Then my illegal logging company is a success.A patient told the surgeon he couldn’t feel his legs.I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s. Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee.Do you know why I look like I can’t hear you? Because I can’t, my headphones are on.What did one ant say to the other ant? Nothing, ants communicate by pheromones, not speech.What’s the one thing in life you can actually always count on? A calculator.Why did Katie break open her piggy bank? She ran out of money.What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing.What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.Here are some of the best anti jokes with a hilarious (and unexpected) punchline: They turn humor on its head! Here are some of the best anti jokes out there: The best anti jokes to tell family and friends: Show them a good time! Anti jokes are so stupid they are actually funny. Why did the hipster keep his iPod outside during the winter?īecause he liked to listen to cool music.ġ00.You should share your favorite anti jokes with friends and family. Why do seals like to swim in saltwater?īecause they don't really like chilly water.ĩ8. How did the archer shoot arrows in the cold weather?ĩ7. Who delivers the Christmas presents to baby sharks?ĩ6. What do you call an igloo without a toilet?ĩ5. What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic?ĩ2. What do trees say after a long winter?ĩ0. What do you call a reindeer without eyes?Ĩ8. What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall?Ĩ7. What do you call a wintertime hip-hop artist?Ĩ6. Where does a bird have the most feathers in winter?Ĩ5. Where’s the warmest place in the South Pole?Ĩ4. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?Ĩ3. What do you call a photo of the North Pole?Ĩ0. What did the man say from outside the window?ħ9. What do you call a penguin that steals calamari?ħ7. What does a mountain wear on its head?ħ4. What do you put over a reindeer’s crib?ħ3. What’s the best self-defense against an angry snowman?ħ2. What’s a sled dog’s favorite time at school?Ħ9. What do snowmen change into when it warms up?Ħ8. What do you call it when a reindeer ignores you?Ħ7. What do you get when you cross cold with anger?Ħ6. What’s a snowman’s favorite condiment?Ħ5. ![]() What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?Ħ4. What do you call a snowman in the produce aisle?Ħ3. What do superheroes put in their drinks?Ħ2. Did you hear about the kid who was hit in the head with a snowball?Ħ1. What kind of robots live in Antarctica?Ħ0. What advice should you give to snow moving to the big city?ĥ8. Did you hear about the snowman who fell in love with a mitten?ĥ6. They can see what is mitten in the stars.ĥ5. Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable? “It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”ĥ4. What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees? Did you hear about the man buried alive under a sudden snowstorm?ĥ2. What does December have that no other month does?ĥ1. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum?ġ0. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?Ĩ. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?ĥ. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?Ĥ. These top snow and winter jokes for kids will get your children to laugh (and help you relax) no matter how cold it gets.ģ. A dad joke or two can help everyone make it through the day, and a few winter jokes can help kids look on the bright side no matter how little sunlight there actually is. After all, when it’s cold and snowy outside, and the family is trapped inside, a robust roster of winter jokes for kids is a must-have to keep everyone from going crazy with cabin fever. One of the best ways to warm your heart on frigid days is with funny winter jokes.
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